Showing posts with label Gags And Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gags And Joke. Show all posts

JOKES Collectibles

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Joke #1
Lolo: Apo, magtago ka na, anjan na titser mo, alam niyang umabsent ka ngayon di ba?

Apo: Lo, magtago ka na rin kasi dinahilan kong patay ka na kaya ako umabsent

Joke #2
GRADUATION SPEECH NI INDAY:

A fleasance afternoon to all, to me, to you, we, they and everyone.

Tonight, I am graduation, and i am froud of me.

I invitation you all to eat our house because i know someday that I will eat your house too.

I will die 10 chickens, 7 girls and 3 boys t eat you all and I will ask my father to cook my mother.

I'm suring you will come because i'm graduation. thank you

English Movies You Should Never Translate in Tagalog

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1. Black hawk down - ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. Dead man's chest - dodo ng patay
3. I know what you did last summer - uyy... Aminin!
4. Love, actually - sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. Million dollar baby - 50 million pisong sanggol (it
depends on the exchange rate of the country)
6. The Blair witch project - ang proyekto ng bruhang si
Blair


7. Mary poppins - si mariang may putok
8. Snakes on a plane - nag-ahasan sa ere
9. The postman always rings twice - ang kartero kapag
Dumutdot laging dalawang beses
10. Sum of all fears - takot MO, takot ko, takot nating
Lahat


Dancing Image In your Browser

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Today I found a rather interesting link you paste in the address http://

Funny Shaking

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Lets start with a funny one. just copy the below code and paste it to your web browser address bar and press enter..
we will see that your browser is shaking



javascript:function Shw(n) {if (self.moveBy) {for (i = 35; i > 0; i--) {for (j = n; j > 0; j--) {self.moveBy(1,i);self.moveBy(i,0);self.moveBy(0,-i);self.moveBy(-i,0); } } }} Shw(6)

computer acronyms[Jokes][Please Read]

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Computer acronyms

PCMCIA


People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms


ISDN

It Still Does Nothing


APPLE

Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

Thank you for flying philippine airlines!

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Passengers on a Philippine Airlines flight heard this 

announcement from the captain, Capt. Juan Amorpropio: 

"Mga kababayan, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our 

Mag ingat sa pag sabi ng gwapo.....[Please Read]

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ito pa isa guys...

NO MATCH PALA TALAGA TAYO SA IBANG BANSA! Kala ko tayo lang ang Sumasabit sa mga Jeep! ITO PARA SA INYO! Dito makakakita kayo ng ibang Version..... THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!!!! HAPPY VIEWING!!!!!

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ONLY IN PAKISTAN!

computer jokes

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A computer engineer was helping a colleague to set up the computer.

She asked him which password he wanted to use.

The man, thinking that it could be funny, said penis.

Without saying a word and without even laughing, she introduced the password.

After a moment she nearly died laughing when the computer gave the following answer:

– REJECTED PASSWORD: IT HAS NOT ENOUGH LENGTH… 


Top 10 Grammatical Mistakes Made by Filipinos

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#10. ”Alright” and “All Right”

We see the word “alright” everywhere, and it’s begun entering the major dictionaries, but for formal writing, such as academic papers and business correspondence, you should still use the two-word version.


#9. “Pinaka-Latest”


“Latest” is already in the superlative, meaning there nothing “later” than it. “Most latest” is just redundant. Therefore, “pinaka-latest” is also redundant. But I have to admit, it’s pretty catchy. That’s probably why local showbiz specials love to use it.


#8. “More + Adjective-er”

Phrases like “more harder” and “more brighter” just give me more headaches. Just say “harder” or “brighter,” okay?


#7. “Your” and “You’re”

Two words that should never, ever, ever be interchanged, at least if you want to be taken seriously as a writer.

“Your” is a possessive adjective. In other words, it is used to express possession: “Your job.” “You’re” is a contraction of two words: the pronoun “you” and the verb “are.” Therefore, it’s always “you’re welcome“ and not “your welcome.”


#6. “Its” and “It’s”

This is almost identical to “you” and “you’re.” Use “its” to express possession: ”I scratched its fur.” “It’s” is a contraction of “it” and “is.” Therefore, always write “it’s nice” and never “its nice.”


#5. “Their” and “They’re” and “There”

Same banana. “Their” is a possessive adjective, “They’re” is a contraction, and “There” refers to a place: “I’m going there.”


#4. “He” and “She”

“Clara’s there na. He’s, ah, I mean, she’s waiting for you.”

This happens because most Filipinos think in Tagalog, in which the word ”siya” means both “he” and she.” This tiny difference between English and Tagalog trips up millions of Filipinos on a daily basis.


#3. “Already”

“She went there already.”

This sounds correct to a Filipino, but the correct use is “She already went there.” Personally, this still sounds a bit off. I would say “She has already gone there.” But that’s just me.


#2. The Ellipsis

This is one of the most abused punctuation marks in the history of humankind. Simply put, an ellipsis is the formal term for the three dots (“…”) that follow some types of sentences. Filipinos love to abuse it in the following ways:

* By using only 2 dots: ..
* By using more than 3: …….. (of course, there are some instances in which 4 dots are acceptable)
* By using it several times in a single sentence: “Oh… Well… I’ll see you later, then…”


#1. Pluralizing all the wrong words


I visibly wince whenever I hear Filipinos add “-s” to the wrong words. “Fats.” “Furnitures.” “Evidences.” “Stuffs.” Stuffs. For the love of God, all of these words are already in the plural form. And saying “anyways” instead of “anyway” has always struck me as being singularly pretentious.
 
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